Being Thankful

Part of what makes people human is the range of emotions they experience. In some situations, our emotions are somewhat predictable. Elizabeth Kübler Ross identified the five stages of grief that can apply to any situation involving loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Other emotional stages have been identified and associated with recovery, pregnancy, change, and retirement; Freud, Jung, Darwin, and many others also weighed in on the development, meaning, and expression of emotions. 

Caregivers are not immune to emotions, though it is easy to try to suppress or ignore them. Even worse is feeling guilty for the emotions that are felt. 

In a previous post, I discussed anger. Those feelings were very real, and I know others that have experienced the same frustrations. At the same time, emotions can be layered.  While I may get angry, at the same time, I never forget all for which I am thankful. By balancing the anger with recognition of blessings, I can recognize sadness without plunging into hopeless despair. I've been in that pit before, and the negativity is like mental quicksand. Being thankful is easy when I accept the gifts I am given:

• I am thankful for my sister. She is on the other side of the country, but is on the phone when I need her. She listens and understands.  The best gift she gave me was the promise to not jump to conclusions when Mom tells her stories. Just as children try to manipulate parents, our mom manipulates us. 
• I am thankful for my friends that let me rant and growl without judging me. They have relatives, parents, or spouses that have been in their care and understand me even when I may not have the right words.
• I am thankful for friends on Facebook. While many may consider the website to be a folly, I can connect with so many people easily. Some provide humor, others provide motivation, and others appreciate my input.  I feel more connected to the world through Facebook because real people are behind the words. 
• I am thankful for my cat. He's good company, wakes up with me in the morning, and talks to me.
• I am thankful for my guardian angels. I am fortunate to have met them, seen them, and recognize they are there for me - always. (And they are pleased that I included them here.)
• I am thankful for my writing. I heard someone say that very few, if any, writers love writing.  Writing is hard. Instead it is the end result that writers love so much.  The work is the means to the self-satisfaction. I agree. 
• I am thankful for my mom. She can be a real pain in the ass at times, but she's my pain in the ass.  I miss the person she had grown to be. She and I had planned on enjoying special events and day trips together. She and I were communicating better than we ever did in my entire life. Her declining health has taken away so much of the progress we both had made. Much of my anger comes from the grief I have over losing that part of her. Still, I love her.

Most of all ....

• I am thankful for the journey of life. I have learned so much along the way, with much joy and much sadness, but when I pay attention, the lessons are incredible.